AimzsterThe Jacksons to hit Reality TV
April 10th 2008 02:30
What do you do when the mere mention of your name evokes titters and images of a freakishly white man-girl bouncing a veiled baby off a hotel balcony? Raise your credibility by starring in your own reality TV show, of course!
The Jackson clan is settling in a small fishing village of Devon, south-west of England, squeezing into a rented five-bedroom holiday home. We are told that it actually won’t be a full-length series but more an hour-long documentary, showcasing the Jacksons’ attempts to fit in with the local community.
The family picked the area for its ‘wonderful countryside and friendly people’. Tito says, “I am looking forward to living in Barnstaple and I hope the Barnstaple public will respect our family's privacy." Er…not after the airing of the show, they won’t. And I don’t think the locals will be too happy either to discover their backyard has turned into a circus of Jacksons and paparazzi.
We already know the tragedy that is Michael Jackson, that Janet is fond of wearing spikes on her nipples while performing live on stage and that La Toya is a longer-haired version of Michael who’s even more inaudible than her brother (if that’s possible). Ever desperate to stay in the limelight, Jermaine even agreed to be a contestant on UK Celebrity Big Brother 5 (finishing second) and Tito is the host of BB 1’s talent show Just the Two of Us. What can we expect from the rest of the Jackson clan?
If you ask me, the Jacksons should be in a reality TV show where they are trained as circus performers with the finale involving a televised circus performance, complete with trapezes and fire-breathing Jacksons. They’re headed down that path anyway.
The Jackson clan is settling in a small fishing village of Devon, south-west of England, squeezing into a rented five-bedroom holiday home. We are told that it actually won’t be a full-length series but more an hour-long documentary, showcasing the Jacksons’ attempts to fit in with the local community.
The family picked the area for its ‘wonderful countryside and friendly people’. Tito says, “I am looking forward to living in Barnstaple and I hope the Barnstaple public will respect our family's privacy." Er…not after the airing of the show, they won’t. And I don’t think the locals will be too happy either to discover their backyard has turned into a circus of Jacksons and paparazzi.
We already know the tragedy that is Michael Jackson, that Janet is fond of wearing spikes on her nipples while performing live on stage and that La Toya is a longer-haired version of Michael who’s even more inaudible than her brother (if that’s possible). Ever desperate to stay in the limelight, Jermaine even agreed to be a contestant on UK Celebrity Big Brother 5 (finishing second) and Tito is the host of BB 1’s talent show Just the Two of Us. What can we expect from the rest of the Jackson clan?
If you ask me, the Jacksons should be in a reality TV show where they are trained as circus performers with the finale involving a televised circus performance, complete with trapezes and fire-breathing Jacksons. They’re headed down that path anyway.
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