AimzsterWant to be Paris' new best friend?
March 26th 2008 00:14
Paris Hilton is returning to her natural talent of exposing herself spectacularly on international TV by signing up for a new MTV reality show called Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. No, BFF doesn’t stand for Bitch For Free as I had originally thought but Best Friend Forever. Which propels me back to memories of 8th grade where girls readily gave away their halves of a tin heart with Best Friends Forever inscribed on it.
Naturally, Paris’ search for a new best friend will be more costly but in a cheap, tacky way that only Paris knows so well. She will have a bunch of girls living under one roof with challenges thrown at them to test their loyalty, honesty, patience and, most of all, their potential to become Miss Hilton’s privileged friend. I’m thinking getting these deluded contestants to dive into a pool of maggots to retrieve a gold-wrapped package containing the shit of her latest pooch, or finding out who would crawl on their stomachs the longest, following Paris’ kitten heels and ensuring no dirt touches them by scraping any dirt off with their tongues.
Paris assures us that she is a very good judge of character (yeah, that Rick Solomon is one classy guy, eh?) and that what she will be looking for the most in her next best friend is loyalty and who won’t stab her in the back. Because Paris herself is an epitome of a tight-lipped virgin who never speaks ill of anyone. The contestant who proves herself to be the most worthy friend by the show’s end then gains access to Paris’ glittery entourage.
After her dramatic and much-publicised stint in jail, after which she vowed to contribute more to the world with the help of her recently-learnt Biblical phrases, I’m guessing Paris thinks that taking a girl away from her current circle of friends to join her own elite batch of rich, spoiled, hornbags is her contribution to mankind.
The series will be shown in the US later in the year, no doubt to hit Oz screens not long thereafter. God help us all.
"So, do you wanna be my new bestest bestie?"
Paris assures us that she is a very good judge of character (yeah, that Rick Solomon is one classy guy, eh?) and that what she will be looking for the most in her next best friend is loyalty and who won’t stab her in the back. Because Paris herself is an epitome of a tight-lipped virgin who never speaks ill of anyone. The contestant who proves herself to be the most worthy friend by the show’s end then gains access to Paris’ glittery entourage.
After her dramatic and much-publicised stint in jail, after which she vowed to contribute more to the world with the help of her recently-learnt Biblical phrases, I’m guessing Paris thinks that taking a girl away from her current circle of friends to join her own elite batch of rich, spoiled, hornbags is her contribution to mankind.
The series will be shown in the US later in the year, no doubt to hit Oz screens not long thereafter. God help us all.
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Comment by The wonderful Peter Yang
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Comment by Eva W.
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I could teach her how to have fun for under $10 a day. She would die of shock.
Comment by Aimzster
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Eva, hehehe...that would be ideal. Paris Hilton dying of shock.