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Reality TV - March 2008

Want to be Paris' new best friend?

March 26th 2008 00:14
Paris Hilton is returning to her natural talent of exposing herself spectacularly on international TV by signing up for a new MTV reality show called Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. No, BFF doesn’t stand for Bitch For Free as I had originally thought but Best Friend Forever. Which propels me back to memories of 8th grade where girls readily gave away their halves of a tin heart with Best Friends Forever inscribed on it.

Paris Hilton
"So, do you wanna be my new bestest bestie?"


Naturally, Paris’ search for a new best friend will be more costly but in a cheap, tacky way that only Paris knows so well. She will have a bunch of girls living under one roof with challenges thrown at them to test their loyalty, honesty, patience and, most of all, their potential to become Miss Hilton’s privileged friend. I’m thinking getting these deluded contestants to dive into a pool of maggots to retrieve a gold-wrapped package containing the shit of her latest pooch, or finding out who would crawl on their stomachs the longest, following Paris’ kitten heels and ensuring no dirt touches them by scraping any dirt off with their tongues.

Paris assures us that she is a very good judge of character (yeah, that Rick Solomon is one classy guy, eh?) and that what she will be looking for the most in her next best friend is loyalty and who won’t stab her in the back. Because Paris herself is an epitome of a tight-lipped virgin who never speaks ill of anyone. The contestant who proves herself to be the most worthy friend by the show’s end then gains access to Paris’ glittery entourage.


After her dramatic and much-publicised stint in jail, after which she vowed to contribute more to the world with the help of her recently-learnt Biblical phrases, I’m guessing Paris thinks that taking a girl away from her current circle of friends to join her own elite batch of rich, spoiled, hornbags is her contribution to mankind.

The series will be shown in the US later in the year, no doubt to hit Oz screens not long thereafter. God help us all.
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tyra banks
What would the judges say with this photo?
Everytime a reality TV contest starts, I keep my eye out for the likely winner, judging and analysing. With previous ANTM, I've only predicted the winner correctly twice but that doesn't stop me from wanting to predict who will last and who will be given the flick before long in this Cycle 10 -

I would have put my vote in for Claire but, as with Renee of Cycle 8, she’ll be told by the judges she looks old and her face no longer looks fresh. Pity though, despite the drastic white haircut (which I HATE), she has a fierce catwalk! I'm glad if I'm proven wrong though.

Marvita seems to only do one expression – that ferocious, don’t-mess-with-me look. Besides, as cruel as it sounds, that haircut makes her look like an exotic filly.

Katarzyna will be told she looks too commercial and will be eliminated because she can’t shed the sex kitten image.

Fatima will be in the show probably until the Top 4 but her attitude will grate on the judges (it’s already grating on both Js) and she’ll be kicked out – with the viewers shouting hoorah then missing her after the bitchfest is gone.

I personally don’t like Anya’s look but the judges love her. She hasn’t stepped on any toes yet and flying pretty much under the radar. Great potential to be a winner.

Whitney is a definite no. As much as I would love a plus-sized girl to win a cycle, sadly, I don’t think that’s ever going to happen in the near future.

Lauren is no doubt the viewers’ favourite. She’ll hang in there until near the end, just to keep the viewers rooting for the underdog. A matter of weeks is not going to do anything for that horrible, horrible walk.

Dominique, Dominique, Dominique – can you please shut your mouth? I dislike this girl more than I dislike Fatima. The producers have either edited the episodes heavily to show her in an irritatingly arrogant light or she really is like that in all her ‘manly’ glory. Either way, she won’t last just because she’s been depicted as one of the bitches in the cycle.

Stacy-Ann. One word. No.

Aimee’s personality hasn’t come out yet (does she even have one?) and she tends to blend into the background, especially when surrounded with other stronger personalities. Having said that, she transforms herself completely in her photo shoots so she’s an ideal blank canvas for now.

At this point, I put my money on Aimee and Anya. It’d be interesting to find out how wrong my predictions are in the next coming episodes.
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With all the new reality shows that have made it on primetime in 08, like So you Think you Can Dance? Australia and The Chopping Block with more to come mid-year, you’d hope they’d finally get rid of some reality shows that have run well over their use-by date.

Big Brother Australia
BB Australia - just lay it to rest already!

Out of all the reality shows that creep back into Oz TV year after year, despite the decline in ratings in recent years, Big Brother has to be my #1 reality show to be scrapped. Tuning in to Channel Ten at 7pm everyday for a half-hour of watching a bunch of young, energetic people with no inhibitions cavorting with each other, seemed like an entertaining idea in 2001, especially at the time when TV wasn’t so inundated with other reality shows from the US. We saw the likes of Sara Marie who was a little annoying at first but proved to be annoyingly lovable by the end, Saxon unashamedly crying out for his mum after the departure of Jo ‘the bunny with the lisp’, with the prize money always going to that all-round nice person who flew under the radar for much of the airtime. But now, watching a bunch of people hamming it up for the cameras, showing their butt cracks on national TV and talking about the most inane stuff is like having sex with the first available guy you meet at a club when you’re feeling horny, leaving you feeling dirty and wishing you could take back the last 30 minutes (or 1 minute) of your life back. And seeing these same annoying people participating in Friday Night Live, under the encouragement of ex-housemates, the charismatic-less Fitzy and Bree with that other guy is just plain pathetic. Having the most obnoxious radio host Kyle Sandilands with his puppet Jackie O replacing Gretel as hosts in 08 won’t improve my opinion of this show either.

The first season of Australian Idol was full of talent and promise, with very little controversy. The only controversial incidents I could think of were Rob Mills’ inexplicable length of stay in the show, despite singing like an entertainer on a cruise liner, and Dicko’s ‘fat’ comment to Pauline. But, since the debacle that was Casey Donovan winning in Season 2 and prompty disappearing afterwards, this show continues to go downhill and I’m not surprised I’m not the only one to think so, with the show having the most dismal ratings in 2007 – despite the return of Dicko to the judging panel. Talent and competition flew out the window, to be replaced by the 4 judges trying to outdo each other and Mark becoming more and more bizzare as the season progressed, his ‘touchdowns’ becoming so lame he had to do it in the dark and pushing contestants’ buttons (think Tarisai) for the sake of the ratings. It’s truly a bizarre season when you find Kyle Sandilands, formerly of ‘that dress emphasises your muffin top’ and ‘what’s with the hair?” making the most sensible comments with Dicko too caught up trying to belittle Mark and Marcia offering the most vague feedback, she might as well not be there. But this year, Australian Idol is determined to improve ratings, not only looking for Aussie talent overseas but also axing Mark who’s now threatening to publish his diary he wrote throughout last year’s show. It goes to show how far AI has fallen for me when I’m actually looking forward more to reading Holden’s most innermost thoughts than watching a new batch of contestants singing their hearts out.

Speaking of singing, who cringes and is reminded of cats in the alley rummaging for food when they hear certain ‘celebrities’ singing a ballad on It Takes Two? I can no longer count the number of songs that had previously been favourites of mine that I now can’t listen to without gagging or twitching, because it’s been mauled so brutally on the show. I especially hate the way some of the judges sugarcoat their comments so as not to offend some overly sensitive celebrities’ egos, and when are they going to get rid of Jade McRae? I flipped to the show about two weeks ago and without looking, I honestly didn’t know who was the so-called professional singer and who was the celebrity attempting to sing. Unfortunately, I seem to be in the minority who can’t stand this show as it continues to rake in around 1.5 million viewers since its premier in 2005. Give it time, I say.

Which reality tv show are you sick of?
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How much is a relationship worth?

March 11th 2008 23:15
The Moment of Truth premiered on Australian TV on Channel 9 last night. Dubbed the most controversial show ‘ever’ (by the producers themselves), it seems to be a cross between Who Wants to be a Millionaire? and The Jerry Springer Show.

The Moment of Truth, hosted by Mark L. Walberg
The Moment of Truth, hosted by Mark L. Walberg

Each contestant, prior to the show, is asked 50 questions, whilst strapped to a polygraph. They’re kept in the dark as to whether or not the polygraph picks up each of their answers as TRUE or FALSE. 21 out of these 50 questions are then picked for the show to ask the contestants again. If the contestant answers the question truthfully, as determined by the polygraph, they move on to the next question and accumulate more money. Answering all 21 questions truthfully will win them the grand prize of $500,000. But, unlike Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, if the answer is deemed a lie, they lose all the money they’d accumulated throughout the show.

Each question becomes more personal and embarrassing in nature as the contestant progresses, with questions like ‘Do you love your mother more than your father?’ and ‘Would you sleep with your ex if you knew you’d never get caught?’ To make things even more uncomfortable, three of your loved ones sit just metres away, hanging on the contestant’s every word, their reactions recorded by the camera.

I love reality TV - I love the impromptu outbursts, bickering and sometimes occasional shoving that result from stress, anger and frustration, accepting that if I was in a similar situation, I’d be most likely reacting the same way, no matter how much I laugh at the lack of decorum and control. But last night, watching a personal trainer uncomfortably confess to having done something that would cause his wife to distrust him and seeing his wife’s nervous reaction, I cringed.

*Spoiler ahead*
Take an episode that had just aired in the US and which was shown on 9’s A Current Affair last week – obviously to promote the coming show. Contestant Lauren Cleri confessed to adultery and still loving her ex-boyfriend, believing she should have married him instead while her devastated husband sat nearby. The audience booed and groaned, catapulting me back to the Jerry Springer days when several from the audience would have stood up and called her a ‘Ho!’ but Cleri pressed on, her eye on the grand prize, citing she’d revealed too much to give up now. In the end, to the delight of the crowd, her YES answer to ‘Do you think you are a good person?’ was deemed a lie and she promptly lost the $100,000 she’d accumulated.

Seriously, what kind of a person would go on a show to reveal dark little secrets that may cause a breakdown in their personal relationships just for a chance to win money? And to bring their loved ones on the show to be scrutinised, and ultimately be judged, by a million strangers on national TV? How much are their relationships worth?

The Moment of Truth is the third highest rated program of the season in the US among the 18-49 year olds. It gives viewers another chance to delve into strangers’ lives, chuckling at their discomfort and gasping at some scandalous revelation.

But watching this show made me very uncomfortable, akin to what I felt when my old boss told me an employee was dying of cancer by jovially saying, “Hey! Guess who’s got cancer?” and settling down for a gossip about the said employee.


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I’ve watched the first 2 episodes and thank goodness, ANTM still doesn’t disappoint. This cycle, the girls move to New York and besides Paulina Porizkova replacing Twiggy, there are a couple of other changes – the intro’s been updated to show a scary-looking Tyra with blonde hair and Tyra Mail is now Tyra Ticker with the girls reading the message in unison like 5th graders reciting their multiplication tables. Oh yeah, because this cycle’s competition is so good, Ms Banks decided to bump up the finalists from 13 to 14.
Paulina Porizkova
ANTM's new judge

So here are my impressions of the finalists so far


[ Click here to read more ]
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